Understanding Before Being Understood

Change in Affirmation

What should I do now?

What should I do now?

At the end of last week, I said that I am a charismatic person would be my affirmation for the month. I, however, decided to change that to the affirmation: I  seek to understand before I seek to be understood. The action plan to promote this is still the same. I intend to seek out and meet other people to build my network both face to face and online.

One of my goals for the year is that I intend to go to churches to meet people in this area. Another thing that I intend to do is assertively build my online platform and sell my books. This month my focus is on these things.

The face to face networking will be used in part to help me build my personal contacts. The online networking will help me get to know more people online in preparation for a KDP select promotion that I intend to run it April 4 and 5.

Buy my Book Doesn’t Work!

Getting to know potential readers is a much better marketing plan than “buy my book!’. “Buy my book” is the cry a desperate person, it is not even good salesmanship. However, trying to sound like a high pressured salesman is not going to get sales either. No one wants to feel as though they have been sold.

How Does Understanding Lead to Increased Book Sales?

How does understanding others lead to increased book sales. One reason is held in the idea that “People don’t care how much we know. They want to know how much we care.” Understanding others leads to book sales is that people tend to buy things from people they trust. In addition, getting to know people helps us learn how to market to them. It is simply a matter of trust.

A Personal Journey

Not only is this month about selling more books, however, it is also about my own personal journey. A year ago, I left my husband, but my entire life was in turmoil because I realized that I didn’t have very many friends. Although it was a large city, I didn’t get to know people. Part of the reason was that every time i tried to get to know people my husband would make me feel guilty for having a life because he was stuck driving his truck to make a living. A year ago last September, my daughter and I came here to Alton to visit my friends here and he shut off our phones as punishment for making the drive to see our friends. It has been so long since I have made friends that I forgot how. This month is all about learning how to make those friends.

Not to say that I can totally blame him. I am extremely introverted which basically means that my energy comes when I am alone and it gets depleted when I am around crowds. I have tendency when I am around crowds to essentially hide behind extroverted friends. This way I don’t have to be the center of attention. I find it easier to be alone than to go out and seek companionship.

My Strengths in Relationship Building

I am not totally powerless in relationship building. I have some unique abilities. My Brigs Meyer Personality type is INFJ. The I stands for introvert but because of the other three traits, I can sometimes seem like an extrovert. The N stands for intuitive. This means that I have the ability to know things without knowing why I know those things. An intuitive person can see the big picture rather than the details. Along with the intuitiveness, I am a feeling person. Empathy is strong in me. I have a tendency to feel what another person is feeling. Finally, the J stands for judging. I have a tendency to look at things as black or white, or right or wrong. If I feel that something is wrong, I am not able to easily convince myself that it is right.

About 2 years ago I decided that I wanted to become an insurance agent. I spent the money and passed the classes and even took the test which I passed on the first try. On my first day in the field however, I know that insurance was not something that I wanted to do.Because she was always on the road, the agent I was with was having issues with her children at home. I was not about to sell my life to make money selling something that I really do not believe in selling. Above all else, I value integrity.

My strong motive for integrity makes it imperative that I live my passion and do what it is that I know I am called to do. I know that I am called to write books about the subjects that are important to me. To do anything else would never be good enough. Living in integrity of who I am and my passions is the central theme during this month as I put myself out there to meet more people.

2014-04-07 07.07.08


Cygnet Brown has recently published her first nonfiction book: Simply Vegetable Gardening: Simple Organic Gardening Tips for the Beginning Gardener

She is also the author of historical fiction series The Locket Saga.These books include: When God Turned His Head and Soldiers Don’t Cry.  Her upcoming book A Coward’s Solace will be available soon.

Where to find Cygnet Brown online

Where to Buy In Print



  1. Common sense at its finest. This is a lesson all writers need to learn….extended, this is a lesson all humans should learn.

    Happy Monday my friend.

  2. 1authorcygnetbrown said:

    You are right, Bill. It is a lesson that every human being needs to learn. As you know from AA, however, we cannot change what other people think or feel. However, we can change our own view of the world by trying to understand another person’s viewpoint.

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