Last post, we talked about what we could do to appear confident. Today, we are going to discuss what we can do to feel more confident.
When I was in the Navy reserve, I learned a little trick that helped keep me out of trouble even when I didn’t have anything constructive to do. I learned to walk in the halls and not stroll where I wanted to go but walked fast (and carrying a folder with papers in it didn’t hurt anything either.)
Not only did it keep me out of trouble, but it also made me feel energetic and purposeful even though I was walking nowhere. Imagine what walking fast would have done for me if I had actually had somewhere to go.
People who walk fast walk with confidence. They have places to go, people to see and important things to do. Even if they are not in a hurry, walking fast increases self-confidence and makes you feel more important.
Along the same lines as walking fast, physical exercise has a huge effect on self-confidence. After I lost weight, I realized how much better I felt. When I was out of shape, I felt insecure, unattractive, and lacked energy. By exercising, I improve my physical appearance, create more energy, and accomplish something positive. With discipline to exercise, I feel better and it creates positive momentum that I am able to build on daily.
I wrote a wrote a 60 second speech that highlights my strengths and goals. I recite it in front of the mirror aloud on a daily basis to boost my confidence.In addition, I read over the affirmations that I have been adding to over the past year. If I don’t feel that I have expressed that affirmation in my actions that day, I will focus on that affirmation the following day.
I try to avoid focusing on what I can’t do and prefer to dwell on what I can do. IN addition, I try to focus on feeling gratitude and expressing it whenever I can. Every night, I write down one or two new things to my gratitude list and read over the entire list and focus on feeling the gratitude. Gratitude helps me focus on what I have rather than what I have not.
A couple of weeks ago I was talking with a young man at work and found out that he was also a writer, but he suffered from writer’s block. I gave him a number of suggestions to help him get unstuck.
When we think negatively about ourselves, we often project that feeling on to others in the form of insults and gossip. To break this cycle of negativity, get in the habit of encouraging others. By encouraging others, you build self confidence. By bringing out the best in others, you indirectly bring out the best in yourself.
Raise Your Hand and Volunteer
In schools, offices, and public assemblies around the world, people constantly strive to sit at the back of the room and God forbid that they volunteer for anything. Most people prefer the back because they’re afraid of being noticed. This reflects their lack of self confidence. By deciding to raise your hand when something is asked for you to do, you can get over this irrational fear and build your self confidence. You’ll also be more visible to the important people who are involved in your network.
Focus Your Goals On What You Can Do For Others
Too often we get caught up in our own desires. We focus too much on ourselves and not enough on the needs of other people. If you stop thinking about yourself and concentrate on the contribution you’re making to the rest of the world, you won’t worry as much about you own flaws. This will increase self confidence and allow you to contribute with maximum efficiency. The more you contribute to the world the more you’ll be rewarded with personal success and recognition.
Donna Brown is an ordained minister. As Author Cygnet Brown, she has recently published her first nonfiction book: Simply Vegetable Gardening: Simple Organic Gardening Tips for the Beginning Gardener
She is also the author of historical fiction series The Locket Saga. which includes When God Turned His Head and Soldiers Don’t Cry, the Locket Saga Continues. Her upcoming book A Coward’s Solace will be available soon. Click here for more information about Cygnet Brown and her books.